I cried everyday for months after the attack.  I've heard people say they've cried until they ran out of tears, but that's not what really happens.  I can still conjure tears every once in a while, but now I can cry without them.  Maybe you could say that my tears have evolved.  Maybe you could say I cry every moment of everyday.  Sadness doesn't feel like sadness anymore, but more like comfort,  and it will hit me, at random times - when I'm folding my laundry, when I'm driving home, when I'm out with friends.  It gives me goosebumps and butterflies and I can't quite catch my breath.  It feels almost like serenity, like anticipation.  It feels almost like love.

Whoever would love life
and see good days
must keep their tongue from evil
and their lips from deceitful speech.
They must turn from evil and do good;
they must seek peace and pursue it.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. ⁹ Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. ¹⁰ Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. ¹¹ If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge;⁶ and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; ⁷and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. ⁸ For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. ⁹ But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.

i once had a thousand desires, but in my one desire to know you, all else melted away.

rumi

It was.

Nature is what we know, yet have no art to say. So impotent our wisdom is to her simplicity.

butdoesitfloat

Impressionism

Wild and reckless, your eyes stare, untamed
I see the perfection in even your imperfections
They are just as they should be
They speak of Truth, in a language all their own
For in your beauty and your completeness, I saw you
Though you did not see me, I saw you
I know you, though you do not know yourself, nor the world around you
I know you, I know you more than I know myself
I know you by your True Name
I speak it, and you glow with a reality all your own
You stare, and I stare back into your eyes that cannot see
As I breathe upon your surface that is depth
You make me sure of a reality that never existed before you
And a future that you will never know.